Peking Gazette
Posted: 20:13:22 Friday, 30 March, 2018

The Xuantong Emperor, His Imperial Majesty the Emperor of the Great Qing Dynasty, Son of Heaven, Lord of Ten Thousand Years, grieves not for the passing of this foreigner. His legacy is one of shame, corruption, and rampant failure. Russia lays a broken nation, after having violently lashed out against its neighbours and doing much to disrupt the peace and prosperity of Eurasia. His failed attempt to introduce democracy and subvert the ancient institution of the tsars, a revolt against natural order, has led to mass starvation, political division, and cronyism.
May his successors be wiser leaders.
The Xuantong Emperor, His Imperial Majesty the Emperor of the Great Qing Dynasty, Son of Heaven, Lord of Ten Thousand Years, will now formally address his subjects.
Citizens of the empire, I greet you. From all corners of the empire, I call upon you to take heed of my words, on this most auspicious year- the year of the rat. The year of new beginnings. The year our path to eternal glory and supremacy begins to be trekked. For far too long have we been subject to humiliation by opportunistic criminals, by lessors; by men who know not the wrath of the dragon. For far too long, have the people of China been abused and mistreated by these foreigners. Our men, mocked mercilessly and tempted by such things like Opium; a horrendous nectar that reduces mental faculties to that of cattle. Our women, raped and scorned by those of wealth and class; treating the empire and it's people's as their playthings. Our children, deprived of their futures and bringing great shame upon their ancestors through no fault of their own, conscripted to work for foreign gain.
But, my people, I must apologise. My reign thus far has failed to bring prosperity to the Chinese people.
Pu Yi, much to the amazement and concern of the onlooking courtiers and crowd, performs the ceremony of three knee kings and nine kowtows. Audible gasps can be heard as onlookers stare dazed in shock, before Puyi slowly straightens himself.
But, no more. The Empire is entering The New Reformation. We must seize back our own destiny and forcefully take back control of what has been stolen from us! We must embark on a bold program of national rejuvenation! We must reintroduce and modernise our proud cultural traditions! We must build a national identity that will never expire! For far too long, I say, has the Mandate of Heaven been desecrated by unfit emperors. For far too long has China gone without a strong, capable, and effective leader. However, I shall rectify my failures! I shall ensure we reclaim our prestige! I shall bring prosperity to all under my rule!
We will soon begin in earnest the process of industrialisation! It shall be a long and painful process, of that there is no doubt, but I promise no family shall be left behind! If people are of one heart, even the yellow earth can become gold. The empire must move as one living organism; we must unite under one banner and move, with justice, to new heights!
As the speech concludes, a period of heavy silence deafens all present until it is soon replaced with rampant applause and joyous exclamations of wansui, amongst other phrases.