[The following is a vastly shortened version of the Declaration of the Parisian Heavenly Republic, which is a long, rambling document, full of obscure theoretical references and apparent grammatical mistakes. Once you boil it all down, a simple diplomatic message appears.]
Parisian Heavenly Republic
Greetings, Citizens of Planet Earth.
I am Comrade Vernes, Chairman of the Sorbonne Gun Club, Agent of the Fourth International, and democratically appointed Ambassador of the République Céleste Parisienne to the capitalist entities known as the French Republic and the United Nations.
We, the Workers' and Students' Councils of Paris, hereby declare our Heavenly Republic to be an autonomous, sovereign nation, governed by the working class of Paris itself. Charles de Gaulle, the Tyrant of France, has fled to Germany. This alone should confirm the inherent legitimacy of our cause.
In a world which is topsy-turvy, we can only rely on ourselves to accomplish the impossible. As they say, soyez réalistes, demandez l'impossible. So, we will only demand the realistic. We ask that the French Armed Forces is stood down and demobilised so that this spectacle may end, that medical aid and other necessities of life are delivered to Paris, and that the power supply of the City not be turned off. In the words of Comrade Lenin: "Communism is Soviet power plus the electrification of the whole country." We can handle only half of that.
If our demands are not immediately met, we will immediately request that the Revolutionary High Command in Buenos Aires immediately commences the immediate sterilization of the World. Avec Che au ciel, etc. etc.
