
See this photograph right here? This, my dear colleagues and comrades, is an American imperialist — President Theodore Roosevelt of the United States — standing proud over a Jaguar, the national animal of Brazil and an increasingly endangered apex hunter, slain for no reason but to satisfy Yankee bloodlust.
Now, onto the matter at hand. I know that the New York Zoological Society and other famous conservationist organisations have been much concerned regarding the international capitalist trade in animal products, as they can completely destroy a species. And so too should we. The Jaguar is not only vital to the survival of the natural system, it us also the national symbol of Brazil, key in our indigenous culture, and seen everywhere from paintings to postage stamps.
And yet, it is currently being hunted to extinction, its habitat vastly reduced. I have every respect for the rural population of our nation that shoot Jaguars which threaten their livestock or families, and that is entirely understandable, absolutely nothing wrong with that. Those who kill our national symbol needlessly is another matter. I know of one man, the Latvian-born Sasha Siemel, who during the last decade has become famous in Brazil for killing - according to his own count - over three hundred Jaguars for no reason! And Theodor Roosevelt, that old fiend, killed two our proud Jaguars in 1913-1914, turning them into rugs which he brought back to the United States!
Something should be done. I am hesitant to ban the hunting of Jaguars entirely, for the reasons noted above, and likewise hesitant to completely eliminate the minor but destructive foreign trade in rugs, pelts and what not, but certain measures to preserve this emblem of indigenous, Brazilian culture is quite reasonable. Hence...
The Save the Jaguar Bill
Whereas it has become a popular sport for foreign citizens to without any restriction hunt and kill unlimited amounts of Jaguars,
Whereas the habitat and population of this Brazilian national symbol is rapidly declining due to overhunting,
- Section 1. Every foreign citizen who wishes to hunt the Jaguar (Panthera Onca) shall be required to apply for a time-limited hunting licence from the wildlife department of the Ministry of Agriculture, Industry and Commerce, which shall hold the right to restrict the number of animals the hunter may kill.
- Section 2. Foreign citizens shall be prohibited from exporting Jaguar (Panthera Onca) pelts, claws, teeth, and other items or products deriving from said animal. The right to export said wares shall be restricted to Brazilian citizens, and each Brazilian citizen shall be restricted to exporting no more than one hundred (100) individual pelts or skins per year unless an export permit is granted from the Ministry of Agriculture, Industry and Commerce.
- Section 3. The wildlife department of the Ministry of Agriculture, Industry and Commerce shall commence a minor scientific study of the viability of in the future instituting protected natural reserves intended for the preservation of the Jaguar (Panthera Onca), the results of which shall be submitted to the Brazilian National Congress for evaluation.
- Section 4. This bill shall go into effect thirty-one (31) days after passage.