Federal Citizens' Daily

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China!

[Litos]

Illegal Deployment of MOAB Rocks Moral Fiber of Mars

This weekend, all of Mars gasped in a collective realization of the moral dilapidation of the European Union. The ESA's old commissioner, after the whole of Europe had come to realize that his insipid action was insufficient for their goals, and after wholistic conclusions of his banality, has been rightly removed by the European Commission. We welcome the new European Commissioner, who will indubitably in his best judgment create a more pro-Chinese policy than his predecessor, which, given our economic and political value, is the correct course of action beyond dispute.

Dusters Declared Counter-Revolutionary

The Central Presidium of Extraplanetary Affairs the Chinese Federation has officially declared that the Dusters are against the fundamental ideology of human progress called Capitalism with Statist and Federal Characteristics. Evidenced by their raiding, raping, pillaging, eye gouging, terrorism, arson, self-mutilation, voluntary skin peeling, devouring of human corpses, bodies, and children, and most importantly, refusal to conduct profitable commerce with other peoples, the Dusters are clearly reactionaries hoping to incite a return to the rule of the corrupt Chinese late-era People's Republic, to be imposed upon all of Mars, and then the Galaxy. This determination was made after extensive proceedings from the three Scientific, Political, and Theoretical subcommittees of the Extraplanetary Affairs Presidium.

Yingzhou Authorities Rank Federal Citizens' Daily "Most Unbiased Paper on Earth"

in a meticulous decision, expressing great attention to detail, the Yingzhou Local Third Kapitalburo for People's and Businesses's Affairs has declared the Federal Citizen's Daily "the greatest and most accurate representation on Earth of the objective analysis of the 22nd century worker-entrepreneur".